A light breeze my butt!
It was less "tomorrow's another day" and more "Frankly dear, I don't give a damn."
We all started out nice and slow towards the dawn. At the 2 mile mark suddenly the temp picked up and so did the wind blowing some fun dandelion seeds into our mouths.
When we got back to the start line we still had 14 lovely miles to tackle but it was away from the sun and against the wind so it was a quick run UNTIL I had to pee, luckily I didn't have to use the scary bathroom (Children's Memorial Park).
Jas set up all of our water stations and Chicka (who was under the weather) was waiting for us at
the 7.5 mile mark.
the 7.5 mile mark.Around the area of Tucson's Stonehenge, we crossed paths with our halfers, Coco and Yuma, who were red in the face. They told me that there was NO water at the water station and that there was NO mark at the 5 mile point so they ran until they found the "Turn around Earl" sign from 2 weeks ago which is actually, 6 miles!!! Awesome ladies.
I was so mad at whoever took the water, why would you need a 78 cent bottle of water! Thankfully, Jas went back out and dropped us off some extra water. He also gave me a gel and waited for Dolce to come around the bend. This was the time that I think her battle was at it's peak. She was about a mile behind Earl and I and was slowing more and more.
Around mile 12, Earl schooled me and I was struggling with tightness in my knees. I felt like they would buckle at any minute.
Jas was at mile 15 with my baby girl, which was the best sight of my life, I was tearing up and I began to believe in what I was doing again.
At mile 16, my babies were waiting and this time with some COLD Gatorade.....mmmmm.... I was also breaking at this point. I started my downward spiral. I began to think," I can't do this. It hurts too bad. Why am I doing this? I can just call Jas and say I was sick and go home. I can make an excuse and no one will think less of me. I can go home. Maybe I'll quit my training. I'll say that I can't do it. Mentally, I'm not going to make it. My knees hurt so bad, what if I'm hurting myself?"
To get myself out of the funk, I began to just push through and think, "I can do it. I can do it. I'm going to make it. I'm going to make it." I had to carry those thoughts in my head for a full half mile before my mind got off the pain and the other issues I was having.
They always talk about the last legs of the marathon being a mental game and it's true. When I realized I had 5 miles left, I was so beat down but I had to start telling myself, "You are going to run this ONE MILE AT A TIME." I ran for 1 mile and I was 1 mile closer to home. Each step was towards the finish. It was so hard, so painful. Usually, I try to keep up a happy mood for my teammates but it was difficult this time with the wind and the heat. I started to really reconsider training for another one, why would anyone do this more than once? I think because it feels damn good when your done. I was thinking while I was into my last 2 miles about how much I HATE RUNNING. I HATE RUNNING.
At mile 19.5 I got a sad text from Dolce saying that she didn't have anything left in her to finish. She got to mile 17 and had to call it a day. I don't know how to comfort her because that has to be devastating to know that you had such a close call.
In the end, Earl and I had a decent run, not one that we would do again anytime soon but worth it because who else other than those of few can say that they have run 20 miles. I can say that, I ran 20 miles what did you do today?
I love the pain. I enjoy walking like I've just endured painful surgery into IHOP and eating a ham steak, eggs and pancakes. I love feeling the salt on my forehead because I know I pushed my body to a level that on 2% of the world's population will know.
I will finish the marathon. Even if it's on my hands and knees.
The miracle isn't that I finished but that I had to courage to start.
